how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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