Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
