Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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