is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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