Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
