I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
