I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
