why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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