After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize