Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
