At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wear drunk well.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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