Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
