I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
