White coat. Heels.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
