you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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