Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
