did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
