we're blogging at a bar
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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