I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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