it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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