hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Our lives are a motherfucking joke