How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?