Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here

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(703): At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here http://tfl.nu/z46s

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(619): View more from California

do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?

(805): View more from California

Don't drive home.

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(619): do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ? (805): Don't drive home. http://tfl.nu/8ed1

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(310): View more from California

It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...

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(310): It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass... http://tfl.nu/egbe

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(859): View more from Kentucky

make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.

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(859): make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through. http://tfl.nu/bvv7

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(207): View more from Maine

Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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(207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man http://tfl.nu/9o60

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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(304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d

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(901): View more from Tennessee

i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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(901): i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life http://tfl.nu/drtj

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(703): View more from Virginia

they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.

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(703): they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them. http://tfl.nu/6kqz

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.

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(248): I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/ttak

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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(252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7

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(865): View more from Tennessee

So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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(865): So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall. http://tfl.nu/00be

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(802): View more from Vermont

I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.

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(802): I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind. http://tfl.nu/o69z

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

(713): View more from Texas

My liver has a boner

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(832): But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze (713): My liver has a boner http://tfl.nu/y8xq

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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(814): I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class http://tfl.nu/2lhx

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(218): View more from Minnesota

my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.

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(218): my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor. http://tfl.nu/6k19

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