I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
