so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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