I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
