Got a toothbrush?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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