I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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