Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have post one night stand depression
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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