I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"