Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?