you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs