can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
