Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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