His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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