i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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