You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
