I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
