If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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