Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
