I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is the high leading the old right now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
