We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
