it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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