grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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