I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
