she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
