he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
