I wish my penis had an off switch
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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