OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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