remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
