Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
