i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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