i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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