I wanna bring you to show and tell
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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