At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You smell like stripper and shame
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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