Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
