youre lurking in front of me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
