Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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