the condom got lost in my hair
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
