doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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