how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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