can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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