You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
