A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
