why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
