I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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