You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was like eating out sand paper
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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