I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
