Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
